I just spent over three hours on the phone with a Big Healthcare Company, attempting to untangle a ridiculous knot of rejected claims. I’d love to show you the paper I took notes on, but it contains too many reference numbers—and too many expletives. So instead, I’m sharing this random doodle of stepping stones leading to nowhere, which feels like an accurate representation of my experience after speaking with six representatives across four different sectors.
(more…)-
center off center
I’ve always been fascinated by printmaking. It speaks to something deep inside me—a part that feels tears well up when moved by artwork, a part that is unsettled and then understood. I love watching an artist’s process, but I’ve also found incredible peace in making my own prints, even if no one ever sees them.
Recently, I realized that creating quiets the noise in my head—and my head is very, very noisy most of the time. But I haven’t worked on anything in almost a year. At some point, I packed everything up in an act of quiet self-punishment.
Last night, walking up 7th Avenue, my head throbbed, overwhelmed. I looked down and focused on the details of the sidewalk—gum, manholes, grime, stencils, millions of footprints, some visible, some long lost to weather and time. I stopped mid-stride, knelt as if to tie my shoe, and pressed my mittened hand against the cement.
(more…)Leave a comment
-
transformation
I originally began this site to encourage myself to sit and write. Over time I’ve realized that while I love formal writing, sometimes it hampers my ability to simply get words out.
Our current reality has sent me into complete overwhelm. Anger and sadness greets me every morning and I have spent the past few days knitting together feelings and preparing for productive action, or as much as one can do as an empathetic, compassionate person who believes human rights and social justice living in a state in North America.
Polished thoughts, yes. But shorter. Sometimes just images. A replacement for social media but still some form of connection. We’ll see what unfurls.
Leave a comment
-
525,600 minutes x 7
One of my favorite people in all the universes—known and yet to be discovered—turned seven today. It feels strange to think I’ve only known him for three years. Perhaps they were light-years or some other measure of time yet to be documented. Perhaps this little guy, who isn’t so little anymore, will be the one to discover it.
Time brought us together. Time, as in the hours of preschool. Time, as in the minutes left of play. Time, in its exactness: the space between now and next and then. Time as the locus of everything—comfort and discomfort, measurable yet boundless. Like empathy. Feeling. Love.
(more…)Leave a comment
-
the time it takes
Clearly, I never followed up on the post I threw up here in July. Life has been a whirlwind, but for the first time in half a decade, I can honestly say things are okay—more than okay. I might be tempting fate by admitting it, but it’s true. Sid has settled into a new school in a small city nearby and commutes by train each day. Emmett started middle school and is thriving. And I began teaching at a new school that already feels like a tight-knit community. It’s been a learning curve, but one I expected—and welcomed.
This summer, I spent a lot of time working on personal things, the threads of which I’m still untangling, slowly. I’m realizing that ghosts, no matter how old, never truly vanish. They fade into the background but still tap you on the shoulder—or, sometimes, knock you down—despite their wispy, amorphous state. Memories are like time itself: fluid yet concrete, always there, moving with you—or through you.
(more…)Leave a comment
object of memory 
Leave a comment