object of memory

we must return to where it was lost / if we want to find it again

Tag: joy

  • the climb

    the climb

    Some people traveled to warm tropical destinations this spring break, while others may have opted for skiing or international trips. We didn’t. I wouldn’t even call it a staycation, as we didn’t do much unless you count my reluctantly taking Emmett to the 9/11 Museum upon his request, which was as far removed from typical vacation material as a New Yorker who experienced it firsthand can get, but whatever.

    I tried hard to balance my feelings this week as we look towards a horizon filled with light, something that hasn’t been possible for years – Sid is coming home in May. He will return almost eleven months to the day since he left. That’s wild when you think about it. Essentially, it’s been an entire year. I’ve been clinging to this aspect of the future, this reality that doesn’t quite feel real yet, but it’s getting there, and the realness is infused with fierce maternal joy, excitement, and a lot of anxiety that comes with years of heartache. All of it is natural, and the core of it is that my baby is coming home.

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  • i never promised you a rose garden, but here are some baby bunnies

    Hi there. I write a lot about life and feelings; right now, life and feelings are consistently rocky. There is always a point/counterpoint, though, and if I have learned anything over the past year of therapy and existence, I’m a pretty alive person, even at my darkest points.

    Things that bring me undeniable delight:

    • Working with children
    • Listening to children
    • Feeling kids’ joy when they realize that I see and understand them
    • Writing
    • Dawn
    • The lift and weightlessness of running
    • The lift and elation of music with beautiful beats
    • The sound of my children’s hearts beating as I tuck them in at night
    • The curl of my husband’s fingers around mine
    • My dog
    • Cats
    • BABY BUNNIES

    The last bullet was a surprise, as I’ve never considered myself a rabbit person, but my school recently fostered a mama and two kits, and the kits are so unbelievably calming and beautiful and adorable. This morning I arrived at work at 7:30 am and held one in my hands. Its tiny body settled into the cup of my fingers. Its eyes closed. I raised its tiny body to my cheek and breathed in it’s baby bunny fur. And then I sat there, Lint Ball’s little body against my face. I closed my eyes and felt every muscle in my body relax. And then I declared these kits Therapy Bunnies. Everyone should have a therapy bunny, but if you don’t have one, feel free to look me up.

    Lint Ball the baby bunny

    You’re welcome.

    lintballdustbunny